the Santa Curse, or the Great Skyclad Jape
by slytherinsal
Summary: A Christmas whimsy for the season of good will and other things which do not please Severus Snape. You never thought I'd do a bit of Snape bashing, did you? but the opportunity to prank him at Christmas was too great. No particular universe, probably Harry's 3rd year. Ho! Ho! Ho!


**The Santa Curse** _ **or**_ **the Great Skyclad Jape**

 _A short Christmas fic set in Harry's 3_ _rd_ _year._

Snape scowled, hearing one of his least favourite voices.

"I found a counter to the curse, scribbled in a margin," said Potter.

"How can people deface books like that?" Granger gasped.

"Easily; with a quill," Weasley quipped.

Snape stopped to listen.

"It's not defacing when it's your own book, to add notes," said Potter. "And the book I found looked like it have belonged to someone before it got in the library. It belonged to someone called William Martin. Anyway, this Satan Curse, cast before any other clothes-altering curse, prevents all curses. But I shouldn't think anyone will look in a book of spells that was outdated when Dumbledore was a baby."

"I hope not, it would be a shame to spoil the surprise," said Hermione.

"Mind you, it will be quite horrible, seeing the staff naked," said Ron.

"This is why we are Griffindors; we are unspeakably brave," said Harry. "Right, let's get these books to Madam Pince to check out."

Snape tried to move on an intercept course, but somehow the wretched children eluded him. The staff? Naked? He hurried to the reading bay where they had been, and noticed an old book hastily put back in the shelves, but still partly out.

It did not occur to him that it might have been placed that way to deliberately draw attention to it. He opened it up, and found the curse in question, scrawled in a margin, with what looked like a border of Herpo the Foul's parseltongue notation doodled in a pattern around it. Snape ignored the doodles. The title looked more like Santa's Curse than Satan's, but it did appear to be a charm strengthening the pattern of clothing.

 _What_ were those brats plotting?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Please, Madam McGonagall," said Percy Weasley, unhappily, "I need to report something."

"Indeed, Mr. Weasley?" Madam McGonagall purred in her soft, Scots brogue.

"Yes, ma'am. I ... I overheard a plot that would make all the clothes in the Great Hall turn invisible for ten minutes at the end of term feast."

"Indeed, and who would want to do that?" asked McGonagall.

"I'd rather not say, ma'am; I thought if you announced that the plot was known about, you might nip it in the bud."

"Hmm, not impossible," said McGonagall.

After dinner, McGonagall got up and rapped on the staff table for attention.

"It has come to my attention that a jape to render the entire company of the school, ah, skyclad, is to be perpetrated. I will take a dim view if this jape is followed through."

There were a variety of little shrieks, mostly from the older girls, some of whom crossed their arms protectively across their bosoms as though already naked.

Snape saw the 'golden trio' smirk, and lip-read Ron's comment, 'Too late.'

Granger was being smug and saying something about the power of runes.

The Satan Curse looked like being in use.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The feast on the last day of term was noisy and raucous. Many of the staff had dressed up with silly hats, red and green clothing, and in the case of Professor Flitwick a twist of tinsel around his hat, all in the spirit of Christmas. All except Severus Snape.

Severus Snape was wearing a pixy suit and a scowl and his sleeves were elbow length, displaying the Dark Mark transfigured into Santa on his sleigh with reindeer, emerging from a chimney, rather than a snake emerging from a skull's mouth. Santa emitted the odd 'Ho! Ho! Ho!' and the reindeer were singing 'jingle bells.'

"Ah, Severus! Congratulations for getting into the party spirit," said Dumbledore.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Rewind two weeks.

"Professor Dumbledore, what's it worth for us to get Professor Snape to dress festively this year?" Hermione Granger had boldly asked the headmaster.

"What do you think it's worth, my dear?" the headmaster twinkled.

"Harry and I think it's worth having all our detentions for the next year being taken by you, and being made to learn alchemy," said Hermione. "Ron's a bit equivocal but it has to be better than scrubbing cauldrons."

"Well, now, my dear, if you can manage it, I think that can be arranged," said Dumbledore.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Back to the present.

Nobody got naked, but the golden trio were looking smug about how well they had manipulated Percy and Snape into doing what they had wanted.

"Potter! Granger! Weasley! Detentions with me for the rest of the year!" snapped Snape.

"In a one-horse open sleigh," added the reindeer.

"Oh, I have to honour a promise, Severus," said Dumbledore. "Any detentions those three serve for the next year will be with me. Promising work on the dark mark, by the way; I must ask them if they can use the same method to remove it."

Snape stared.

"I ... withdraw the detention on condition that they work on that." He said.

"Oh, I think the detention should stand," said Dumbledore. "But I assure you, I will be working on them to study that. Very clever of them. Merry Christmas, Severus! "

 _A/N Brownie points and a voucher to Honeydukes to anyone who knows why I chose 'William Martin' as the previous owner of the book._

 _Clue:_

 _Muggle WW2 history  
_


End file.
